Whenever Pluto and Lilith meets in a synastry chart- God of the Underworld meets the primordial demoness. The result can only be described in one word- Intense.
Pluto and Lilith energies are remarkably similar.
They both operate in the shadows and have similar undertones- rage, taboos, greed, obsession, power and so on. But what sets them apart is how they manifest their dark side. Pluto has some masculine traits such as dominance and destruction- whereas Lilith represents dark femininity traits- seduction and chaos.
Regardless of genders, if the Pluto person in the synastry chart is masculine and Lilith is the more feminine one, these aspects are going to be more intense.
Keep in mind that one aspect alone is not going to set the tone for the relationship, it is just another clue in decoding the map of synastry.
Pluto conjunct Lilith in Synastry
Conjunction between Pluto and Lilith is like seeing your dark side in the other. This dynamic can be quite transformative- or uncomfortable depending on how much shadow work has been done.
Regardless, it is very complicated. When Pluto meets Lilith, there is an inexplicable magnetic pull- followed by a desire for control. Pluto person will likely try to get under Lilith’s skin, but they may already be under her spell.
If you think this all sounds a little sexual, you are not wrong. Pluto conjunct Lilith can get extremely passionate and kinky.
A mature Pluto can truly transform Lilith by teaching them power of self control. Lilith in return can support them when they need to rise up and take back their personal power.
With this conjunction, problems often arise in the similarities. They may have similar dark traits, traumas or repressed emotions, which can be quite triggering and painful. If there is no mutual compassion and trust, this aspect might lead to manipulation, obsession, power struggles and perhaps abuse in the relationship.
Pluto trine/sextile Lilith in Synastry
Trine and sextile aspects are less intense than the others, but they are more complimentary. It may be even a ''us against the world'' type of dynamic.
With these synastry aspects, Pluto and Lilith still feels that magnetic attraction to one another- but with some of the intensity gone, there is now more room for trust and compassion to be formed.
Pluto trine or sextile Lilith aspects are also excellent for some healing. When they recognize that they are mirroring each other’s primitive and repressed selves, they can encourage and support each other for shadow work. This is possible if they respect each other's freedom and provide a safe space to open up.
Pluto square Lilith in Synastry
Square aspects in synastry indicate that there is some work to be done due to the blocked/clashing energies.
Even though they are attracted to one another, and they share a similar darkness just like in the conjunction- Square aspect might make it harder to sympathize.
Because of this tension, they may completely reject each other-or perhaps form a toxic bond that feels like walking on eggshells.
Pluto square Lilith often manifests itself as a power play. When they feel triggered or hurt, these two tend to bring their worst weapons in the relationship- manipulation, infidelity, indifference, gaslighting and so on.
For this aspect to work out, mutual understanding and healthy boundaries are needed.
Pluto opposite Lilith in Synastry
Oppositions indicate a polarity in the relationship. With Pluto opposite to Lilith, they might be indeed polar opposites when it comes to their shadow selves, or some of the shared similarities might be perceived as threats.
On the other hand, opposites can also attract- therefore this tug of war between Pluto and Lilith can be intensely sexual and kinky for some.
With Pluto opposite Lilith in synastry, instead of forming an equal partnership- they may view it as a contest in ownership. In worst case scenario, they might trigger each other’s insecurities, use their partner’s weaknesses, obsess, stalk, or abuse one another.
If both partners worked through their shadow healing and integrated their Pluto and Lilith energies, there is a potential for them to form a deep emotional bond bursting with passion. Rebellious Lilith can find the transformation they need with the guidance of Pluto. Pluto person can explore their primitive impulses and sexuality with Lilith without shame or guilt. If not, Pluto opposite Lilith energy can be too chaotic for the relationship to evolve.
When it comes to Pluto-Lilith aspects, I've found they usually involve some kind of power struggle or jealousy in relationships. With my new partner, we have a Jupiter Square Pluto synastry aspect. It can be challenging too because Jupiter expands everything, both the positive and negative!